Some people I came across have at some point suffered from depression and I wasn't sure how it affected a person or why it happens, until that day came that I was diagnosed with it. Being a guy I buffed it thinking I'm only going through a phase and resented at the thought of medication. Well, this story might be termed quite long but it is my journey to why and how it happened, what I did to overcome the feelings and how I'm living with it now.
There are a lot of articles out there that talk about depression, how to live with someone who has it and supporting the person through that difficult time but I wanted give a 1st hand insight of what a person goes through, their thoughts and how having it affects them socially. I wanted to share my experience so people who read this don't feel like they're suffering alone. The details I give should only be used, as a guide if you wish to support someone with depression or someone who has depression and wants to finds ways to support themselves.
To understand how I came about being diagnosed with depression here's a background and story about me. I'm a guy in my early 30's, degree educated. I had a rather difficult childhood being bought up in a working class Asian family. I was always treated differently, racially harassed at school, kept socially isolated by others in my age group and by my cousins. Some kids at school didn't want me touching them or sitting next to them because I was darker than them.
I found solitude in education so learning was something that kept me going through to finishing university and landing a job on a graduate programme. I kept myself to myself, as I didn't like the feeling of anxiety and paranoia because I had grown up use to being looked upon and never felt any sort of worthy kindness from a friend or relative. Friends were hard to come by and I eventually gave up trying to make friends. I was not able to make and maintain long term friendships and it affected my workplace relationships. The issues I faced in childhood slowly started to affect me as I became an adult. Later on the effects became quite significant. I felt different from other normal people in society and it really affected my social life and eventually my mental health.
I have also mourned the lost of my mother whom I discovered passed away in her sleep, at a time in my life where I wanted to move on and settle down with someone. The harsh memories lurked around me for 5 years along with all hatred I built from those who denied me any fond memories of my childhood. I live with my father with whom I don't really get on as well as I did with my mother so there were tensions and issues there I needed to battle with. After my mom passed away I had a massive hurdle to try and socially fit in with people and even today at times it still feels like a struggle. To sum up my whole life, I felt I was not destined to be happy. Every step I took towards something good went 10 steps back into something bad.
My depression was triggered from falling out with a dear friend caused by an incident that occurred not from my actions but the behaviour of a friend of hers. I felt my friend had lied to me as a cover up when I asked her some time later and I was deeply hurt. The repeated paranoia and hatred of the incident cost me the dear trust and eventually that friendship. I felt it was my fault had I let go of it, be there for her or dealt with it with her friend there then then I wouldn't be in this situation. Although I do miss her friendship a lot and things since were patched up but the friendship was never the same and I haven't seen or been in touch for a long while. At any stage my father was not aware I was diagnosed with depression. I felt he would think quite bad of it, and would worry too much. A close family friend knew and she was very supportive.
After all the negativity I faced from childhood to late adulthood I decided to plan my suicide, where and how I was going to end it. It was my quick exit and get out of jail card and felt that suicide was my right. I felt everyone would better off with this problem gone and they'd easily move on with their own lives. Not able to sleep or end up sleeping for 12 to 13 hrs a day, shaky starts to the mornings, thinking all the bad things have to happen to me and with the threat of suicide nearing I finally got help from my GP, took medication called Setraline, resigned from work and started to work for myself in the hope of getting better. I didn't want to live off incapacity or state benefits. I was worried doing so would eventually become a bad habit because my goal was to be out there amongst people and to get better. During my time as self-employed I'd learnt a lot about my issues and the time away from a busy 9 to 5 job allowed me to slowly address them.
Over a course of a 1 and half years 90% of my depression has gone but the rest is still there and I feel it will be for some time. It was not an easy journey, I damaged relations along the way, people lost trust in me, it affected my reputation amongst some people, I felt it cost me my career and at times it has tested me but I tried to pick myself up and move forward. My depression hits me when I feel down, stressed or worry about my situation, sometimes it really does hit back. I resigned from work and became self employed but financial struggles are starting and I have real difficulties getting back into full time work hence the worries. Being self employed for a person with severe depression is not one I can recommend for someone else with depression but you need to research it very well before committing to it and you have the right support in place to help you, as I didn't. One thing I have realized and do feel is that what I was few years ago before my depression I am not now. It left an impression on me that I was a stranger to myself. My technical savoy know how all eroded and I didn't know who I was any more, I felt a different person. My thoughts, ability, the type of work I use to enjoy have all eroded away and when I try, that x factor I once had is not there. I know it's there but it will take time to realize it again.
How to deal with depression
Firstly, I feel it is very important before writing about anything else, to deal with someone who has depression and has contemplated the thought of suicide. The moment that thought comes, think of this. If someone discovered you had committed suicide think what they will go through and the thoughts that might enter their minds. They may even come down with depression themselves through regrets or being up set or that moment they see you there. The situation can damage their relations with others, their own mental state. The after effects of what would be left behind will not be good for others because they have to live with that empty vacuum left behind coupled with their thoughts. Regardless of whether you are going through a good or very bad time, you are an element of happiness in someone's life and that happiness can never be filled with anyone else so to get better if not for yourself, do it for them. My dad does not know I have depression and seeing what he went through when my mom passed away made me realize he would be 10 times worse if he saw me after I did something. Those who were close and knew I had depression will get a big telling off from him and there would a social stigma attached to him amongst the community and relatives that he failed as a father to his son. I didn't want him to go through all that and end up living alone. I have a beautiful niece and nephew and as an uncle I want to spoil them rotten. These were my reasons to get better not only for myself but for them. Use these as motives to pull away from that thought of suicide. You will get better but it is not a magic wand moment, it will be a long and tough journey where you will learn about yourself and time and people around you will test you so be strong. There are people who want to help and I am one of those. Below I have detailed how I have overcome the hurdles, other ways that may benefit you and I hope you will find ways to change yourself around.
Everyone goes through issues caused by personal, family circumstances, or political uncertainty in developing countries. I don't think I've ever come across someone who said they didn't have issues or problems. What makes the difference is how they deal with their problems with the potential outcome of becoming a better person and gaining invaluable experience to hand down or support someone else.
There are also different people in society who feel they are right based on their perspective but perspectives vary from one person to the next so every person is right in their own world. There are those who unknowingly encounter a person with depression and don't have time to keep listening to them waffling on about their issues, they may know someone with depression and choose to ignore them or better to put the person to one side or those who make them feel their issues are small compared to their own. There's nothing wrong with what they do because for them it's convenient or they feel their actions are justified but the person with depression has no one who is willing to help them through their bad time or there's no anchor for them to rely on. This lack of awareness in people and society leads people with depression into isolation, that no one understands them, no one wants to help and deepens the effect of depression.
If there are those people who want to support someone with depression then the help must be tailored around how they need it or how they want you to be there for them. It's an ongoing committed help that's there until they feel better in themselves. Letting the person know you are there to help or listen if they need it is a very important step. Its a type of help which is unconditional but not the type where you think you know what is best for them and try to enforce that on them or feel you're not rewarded or appreciated in return for the help. That will only cause them more confusion and stress. A person with depression only sees a single endless tunnel where there are no exits for what they are going through and your help by asking questions about how or why they feel and what or why they're thinking will help them see things clearer and realize there are other better ways to view that opinion or life itself. In another way there are these invisible barriers and your help is there to help them remove these and move forward a step at a time. Every person is born to live their life in the happiest way possible and I feel that no person with depression wants to stay in that state of mind. Even though they want to move forward and see the better days sometimes their thinking puts these barriers up and they're stopped from going forward. Even today I feel this and if its not tamed it will become a habit.
Everyone goes through issues caused by personal, family circumstances, or political uncertainty in developing countries. I don't think I've ever come across someone who said they didn't have issues or problems. What makes the difference is how they deal with their problems with the potential outcome of becoming a better person and gaining invaluable experience to hand down or support someone else.
There are also different people in society who feel they are right based on their perspective but perspectives vary from one person to the next so every person is right in their own world. There are those who unknowingly encounter a person with depression and don't have time to keep listening to them waffling on about their issues, they may know someone with depression and choose to ignore them or better to put the person to one side or those who make them feel their issues are small compared to their own. There's nothing wrong with what they do because for them it's convenient or they feel their actions are justified but the person with depression has no one who is willing to help them through their bad time or there's no anchor for them to rely on. This lack of awareness in people and society leads people with depression into isolation, that no one understands them, no one wants to help and deepens the effect of depression.
If there are those people who want to support someone with depression then the help must be tailored around how they need it or how they want you to be there for them. It's an ongoing committed help that's there until they feel better in themselves. Letting the person know you are there to help or listen if they need it is a very important step. Its a type of help which is unconditional but not the type where you think you know what is best for them and try to enforce that on them or feel you're not rewarded or appreciated in return for the help. That will only cause them more confusion and stress. A person with depression only sees a single endless tunnel where there are no exits for what they are going through and your help by asking questions about how or why they feel and what or why they're thinking will help them see things clearer and realize there are other better ways to view that opinion or life itself. In another way there are these invisible barriers and your help is there to help them remove these and move forward a step at a time. Every person is born to live their life in the happiest way possible and I feel that no person with depression wants to stay in that state of mind. Even though they want to move forward and see the better days sometimes their thinking puts these barriers up and they're stopped from going forward. Even today I feel this and if its not tamed it will become a habit.
Depression is caused by continuous immense stress, which itself is caused by multiple worries, past bad memories and feelings of anxiety. So to deal with depression you must first highlight what is causing the stress i.e. what are the thoughts of worry or if there are feelings of anxiety or memories. Understand what factors have contributed to those feelings and thoughts and find ways to try and counteract them or find a better way to deal with them with either a way to get professional support or a practical solution that you can practice to help reduce the worry. If it helps to write everything down then lets do that and be descriptive and be open to yourself or to the one who wants to help you. Dealing with these issues is very important because when you do, over a period of time you will practice a way to steadily reduce their influence on the stress caused and then once the stress is reduced your mind will feel relieved and you can then move onto ways to slowly move your mind away and prevent it from going back to those memories or worries.
The ways in which I have done this is to simply teach myself to eventually stop worrying about one issue to the next until I have nothing to worry about. It took a lot of time for me to do so and it sounds easy but it's as simple as that. I did this by telling myself that I have a life to live and no worrying thought is worth more than my life. I didn't put a time frame on when I should have this done but I let time go by and I eventually stopped worrying about everything. It's a bit like having a heavily cluttered room and I start by throwing everything out the window regardless of whatever it is and have an empty room where I can sit and rest. This gave me time and free space to think and breathe. I will then slowly bring one thing in at a time and a simple judgement if its important in my life or not. If it isn't then it's in the skip and not worth my time and move onto the next until everything is organised and de-cluttered. These items could be a person (past partner), friend or bad relative. At this point certain memories and feelings are not so easy to simply throw away because they have left a lasting impression or leaving them untouched and they will cause further issues in the future. So with these items, keep them but in the aim that once you have dealt with them they will need to go in the skip and never return. It's not the best solution for everyone because at some point those items I've bought back in will cause me that stress again but I need to steadily practice a way to counter it. At this point having an ongoing counselling or CBT therapy is vital to balance your change in your behaviour and mind and talk about what you're doing and if your therapist can advise a better approach or help improve it. I've also soared many friendships and family relationships along the way and I had the ongoing stress to take whatever they had to say on the chin and deal with but it's like I mentioned, teach yourself to not look into it and get on with your aim to get better. When time passes the relation/friendship will heal and everything will be fine. I cannot give a definitive way to deal with issues for yourself but think of it as your starting point to get you actively involved to get better. If I can so can you so start by believing in yourself that this is achievable.
There are many ways in which you can help yourself to deal with those worries and I describe myself as a practical person so some of the steps I've taken are described below.
Prior to and during my depression I took private counselling to try and help me come to terms with my past social issues, anxiety and to deal with my emotional feelings concerning my mother passing away. As brave as I tried to be I had a lot of bad memories I needed to deal with. Counselling is used to address various issues so no same session for one person will be like for like for someone else but you have to be completely open about yourself and your issues to the counsellor. If you don't then your counsellor won't be able to help you with the appropriate advice.
From my experience I learnt that therapies like counselling and CBT only help if you try to become the enabler and try to practice what you learnt from your sessions. These sessions should never be thought of, as a 1 hour period where you just talk, they listen and leave it there, there is an outcome from each session whether its small or big, which if you try to realize, learn from that and try to implement it, it will make a small difference to your life. Maybe you realize something about yourself and you can highlight this to your counsellor and talk about it and address it. My counsellor was very good at understanding my situation, very observative, breaking it down for me, openly telling me where I was wrong and why. My counsellor advised how I could take a different approach towards a similar situation and part of the session also included CBT therapy so we were hitting 2 birds with one stone.
From my experience I learnt that therapies like counselling and CBT only help if you try to become the enabler and try to practice what you learnt from your sessions. These sessions should never be thought of, as a 1 hour period where you just talk, they listen and leave it there, there is an outcome from each session whether its small or big, which if you try to realize, learn from that and try to implement it, it will make a small difference to your life. Maybe you realize something about yourself and you can highlight this to your counsellor and talk about it and address it. My counsellor was very good at understanding my situation, very observative, breaking it down for me, openly telling me where I was wrong and why. My counsellor advised how I could take a different approach towards a similar situation and part of the session also included CBT therapy so we were hitting 2 birds with one stone.
I took the private route vs. NHS simply because I did not want to wait and I was unsure about the quality of the service knowing there was a huge waiting list for NHS mental health services. My GP was helpful but he wasn't interested in my personal issues, as it seems he was only obliged to allow me the 10 minute appointment slot allocated to a patient and try to rush me off. Therefore, I would advise to ensure your GP is aware of your situation on a regular basis via fortnightly appointments. Let them know if any good or bad changes you feel, any side effects of medications, or if you feel medication is not working. I believe some GP surgeries also do Skype video messaging and telephone appointments so ask about these if you're not able to travel. A list of private counsellors can be found on http://www.counselling-directory.org.uk/. if you feel at any stage you cannot cope or feel suicidal, dial 999, or go to your Accident and Emergency ward or call the Samaritans http://www.samaritans.org/how-we-can-help-you/contact-us
There are sceptics out there who will say that such therapies are a waste of time and money but from the perspective of your health you cannot ignore that these services do exist for the welfare of your health and a prize cannot be put on your health so please don't ignore these vital services. They are there to help you.
There is no harm in taking a break from counselling to see how you get on but if you feel its difficult then book an appointment with your counsellor and discuss the situation.
CBT was another therapy I took whilst taking my Setraline medication. I wanted to find ways to help tackle my issues. My only weakness was I didn't take it a small step at a time but took big leaps of change thinking that I was in a positive mood and thought it was good. At times it only made things worse so it is important that behavioural changes are done one small step at a time. It would be great if someone was there to support this change like a family member or a very close friend. They can see where you're doing good or wrong or pick you up when you feel down.
I also took up different hobbies and interests, Some were good fun where I met people but never lasted due to other reasons and some I have thoroughly enjoyed those that were done in my spare time like gardening and growing vegetables. A hobby doesn't have to cost a lot of money and it doesn't have to be gender related so if a hobby never works out, never hold it against yourself, be determined to see it through or if it doesn't work out then don't be disheartened, try something else but try not to sit idle and do nothing. My gardening interest has taught me alot other than just growing plants from seeds. If you do a mind map on gardening you will realize there is so much to learn. soil composition, re-mineralization, various composts i.e. leave compost, vermi compost, compost made from garden waste, importance of red worms, bacteria and soil fungi, stages of plant growth, tending to seedlings.
Taking up hobbies and interests and pursuing them is a means of trying to divert your energy away from concentrating on negative thoughts into something productive that you would enjoy. It's not an easy process if you spent a lot of time with depression but it's the process of nurturing yourself slowly to move away from the negativity and lethargic attitude. During depression the brain activity lessens and this becomes evident when you realize you cannot concentrate or remember or think something through clearly but doing a hobby is a simple means of encouraging the brain activity. The best way I used to tackle a new hobby is learning it step at a time. Don't take it all in at once as it will overwhelm you and seem complicated when it really isn't. Be determined and if the result is not what you expected then learn where you went wrong and do it again. An example of this is that I grew certain vegetables from following the guide on the pack and they don't grow as expected i.e. they went to flower (bolted) without growing anything we could eat from it. After having some set backs I gave up thinking I'm not good at this. Coming back I realized that the key was to grow them later in summer close to autumn and so far its looking promising. I don't take the set backs to heart as there is always next year and losing your motivation over seeds that cost only £2 is clearly not worth it. So buy again if needed and try again with a different approach and you will learn and succeed.
Brain stimulus helps encourage brain activity. Things like a 2D or 3D puzzles, crosswords, suduku, simple word searches, or even Japanese Kendama, which helps develop muscle and mind co ordination and can be quite a lot fun. The symptoms of depression will put you off, psychological barriers may appear that stop you from doing it but slowly practising to overcome these barriers is the way forward so keep at it and you will succeed.
Although I do have many worries, like I've mentioned above I am teaching myself to occupy my time with things I'd like to do. Last year I took up fishing. It's to pass time, a quiet hobby and I use it to teach myself not to be disheartened if I don't catch a fish but keep trying. As I meet people and they teach me the techniques I then try again. You will come across people who will argue the point of why do fishing when it's cheaper in the supermarkets to buy but that is not the point of pursuing a hobby and it is best to ignore these remarks and don't let their opinion have an affect on you. I play Golf too. I'm by no means comparable to Tiger Woods, but what the heck, give it a good whack and if no one is looking just cheat a bit but enjoy the time and smile.
Try to enjoy activities like these with a group. I know it can't be easy and you may feel unwilling to join due to anxiety or paranoia about what others might think of you. You can look at it this way, I can imagine that not everyone will be perfect at, lets say playing golf or any other game. More than one person is going to make a fool of themselves but I can guarantee you that they will all laugh it off and enjoy the moment. but take things slowly. I even played bowling with a group and we got to a point we were practically playing marbles down the alley on a giant scale. The joy was unbelievable. I wanted to try and bake a chocolate brownie, found a few recipes to test. In the past before my depression I tried baking but nothing ever came out nice but I like chocolate a lot and the smell of fresh baking is unbeatable. My friend saw a few youtube videos on making simple electric circuits to utilise free energy and we tried one and tried to understand what is going on. it rekindled my interest and some of the knowledge I had came forward. I studied electronics, use to do small projects at home and made a few things for myself when I was young but since depression I never had the energy to do it again and when I did I just didn't understand what I was doing wrong, it was very frustrating. However, now I feel energized to try making a small Tesla coil and thinking to complete some projects I never finished.
Setting yourself a task and seeing it through is one way to tackle some of the hurdles of depression and you need to practice this in order to lessen their effects. If you want to help someone with depression this can be one way to encourage them to take part or join in a group activity and enjoy it.
Another activity that is always good provided you have the time is volunteering. I volunteer my time at a charity pet rescue centre and I enjoy it. I enjoy seeing and pampering the pets there, and see that I'm doing this for them. There are times where I feel lethargic and don't want to go or feel paranoid that some people there don't show that welcoming feeling but I've taught myself to look past them and enjoy my time talking to those who appreciate seeing me there. So this is the process of telling yourself not to be dragged away from what you're doing or put yourself down by being paranoid but understand there's always a reason for their behaviour but not something that concerns you. They maybe going through a bad time themselves, maybe too busy or its just their nature or it could be that because you are new. Another way to see it is taking a brief high level thought over a situation (that caused the paranoia) but the detail of it won't mean much to you so that way it becomes easier to just brush it to one side in order to avoid dwelling on it. You are not being ignorant by doing so but given your own situation you avoiding putting yourself in a situation you are practising not to be in. This is an example how to see a situation and continuously practice a solution to the problem. After that you may want to approach the person with a smile at one point and then eventually a greetings at another time and take it a step at a time from there onwards but never push yourself back from trying, just give things time and it will all work out.
Doing all these types of activities is advisable whilst seeing a CBT therapist. You will encounter various situations or feelings other than those mentioned here that will test you and may even pull you back but your therapist will advise how to control your feelings and approach it differently. Always remember one thing that is to never take something to heart or be disheartened by a negative outcome, push forward because you are the enabler and you want to get better.
What I have mentioned above are some examples of things that I have done or will do to actively encourage myself to occupy my time, as my motivation is I want to get better and beat this illness, I want my former glory back that people knew me for. I know its not and won't be easy but I will try and succeed.
There are those who may have been diagnosed with depression and are in full time work in the UK. It's important to stress that anyone suffering from a mental illness in the UK which impairs their ability to do day to day activities, is not allowed to be subjected to discrimination at work. This is covered by the The Disability Discrimination Act. It is against the law. Large multinational firms have support in place to support anyone who suffers from depression and should you be part of a private health plan then you should look into using that to help you through. It is confidential and nothing is disclosed to your employer. If you have been on long term sick leave then companies will assist you with recommendation from your GP to have a phased return to work. This means you will gradually come back into work through reduced hours and see how it feels in the hope of bringing you back into full time work. I do not have much experience of smaller organisations but it's best to try and find out what support there is via company intranet or leaflets. Understandably you may be reluctant to tell anyone at work about it and if that is the case then you should seek support outside of work, as soon as possible.
My experience dealing with depression at work is that if it's severe then it can be noticed and it may raise questions. I told my team lead what I was going through when my depression was mild and I thought he was understanding. I was making mistakes, arriving late at work, and I was told I was not up to the expectations of my line manager. I was becoming forgetful and all of this was stacking up against me until my depression turned severe. I repeatedly took sick leave on 3 occasions. I told my immediate team but I felt they didn't understand, their behaviour towards me changed and at times I felt I was without support during work. The experience was not nice and I felt now that telling my team may not have been a good idea, as at times I felt victimized and ignored. Realizing this I felt I needed a break and subsequently resigned.
One of my biggest challenges now is getting back into work. My confidence has taken a big hit since depression and one thing I noticed about myself now after having depression is that I am the one who is putting obstacles in front of myself. Although I have done the sort of work I want to get back into for some years I find it easy to just snub the job opening or close the browser because it avoids having the worry of failing at the job again or worry I can't do this work because the job description seems overwhelming. If I keep going around in this cycle then I'd never get better and I will eventually develop a habit of this. I need to avoid this by keep applying for jobs and nurture the confidence that I can do the work (because I have done it before) but I need to take a different approach. Rather than hitting the floor running and panicking, but take it slowly. I know the work will pile up but as I take time to familiarise myself of the work I have done then slowly the work pile will drop and I would make notes of every piece of work I've done, as something I can reference in the future. This is a way of developing a solution to approach a difficult situation caused by lack of confidence, that another person without depression would find a trivial task. It is difficult because I need to keep nurturing myself to not be afraid and I won't say it's an easy thing to do but keep practising, never give up trying to succeed and time will pay dividends. Another approach is to start a job at the bottom and work myself up the ladder. That way I have an income, an easier job would be better to handle and when I have the right confidence to move on then I can look out for another job opening.
Another aspect to help deal with depression is changing what we eat and doing exercise. Regular intake of water is essential to help the body remove impurities from itself. Reducing the intake of processed foods, takeaways and high in fat, sugar, salt snacks. Reducing the intake of these foods should not be done by stop eating them straight away, otherwise the cravings will make you want to eat more. Gradually reduce it by half every week until you are only eating them as a treat. Regular exercising does not have to cost anything, if you have a bicycle then ride it and set an aim to do say 5 miles and then gradually increase it every week by another 2 or 5 miles until you are doing maybe 20 miles every other day and maintain the fluid levels. If you don't have a bike, a short jogging exercise around the block or in the park in the morning is just as good. The intake of oxygen is very important to the body and the increase in blood flow reduces risk of blood clots, helps regulate your blood pressure and assists in energising the mind. After each exercise, have a wash and after a month or 2 your body will start to feel refreshed and over time the feeling your mind and body gives you will be quite apparent.
The reason for reducing the intake of processed foods, alcohol to a minimal level is to replace them with healthy alternatives. You have already heard that dieting does not help. Well here is my take on it. Every food in texture, taste (bitter, sweet, sour), and colour have certain trace minerals and micro nutrients in them that if our body had them, it would help it regenerate and maintain itself better and also provides fibre for our digestive system. Things like Iron, Calcium, Iodine (deficiency can cause thyroid problems, cognitive development), Magnesium, Manganese, amongst many others are contained within foods in very small amounts and they are all essential for our body. Eating healthy food that comes into season is a means of getting some of those nutrients into your body but like with anything too much can be bad. Salt is an example. Did you know there are various types of salt, pink salt, black salt, as well as table salt (which is processed and lacks minerals) and sea salt and all are edible? Simply switching from table salt to sea or pink salt is a healthy switch. you find a lot of literature on the Internet about this. Too much salt is very bad, as it has a dehydrating effect on the body and it can contribute to high blood pressure. Not having it completely will mean you may end up with a iodine deficiency. Even certain animals like cows and goats like licking salt. So with any mineral having a balanced intake is important for the body and that can only come from eating healthy food, not just fruit and vegetables but meats and how you cook them. Maybe try preparing a Japanese Bento lunch by combining different things together. Its got quite a following in USA, Europe as well as Japan. A change in eating habits will reap benefits only when loyally maintained on a long term basis from 6 months to a year or part of a life changing exercise.
Omega 3 oils is another aspect, which is very important. They contain fatty acids like DHA, EPA oils that are essential for maintaining your body and mental health. There have also been researches that suggest it helps with depression. Further info can be found on the internet or from my references below. Couple healthy eating along with exercise, Omega 3 intake and over time your body will be fit, healthy and it will help lay the foundations for helping you move forward with dealing with depression. I'm by no means saying avoid junk foods or avoid alcohol but treat them as a occasional moderated treat by teaching yourself to not over indulge but be strict and set a limit.
Another thing I ran into was Spirulina, which can be used as a dietary supplement on top of what you eat. It is blue and green coloured algae that grows in water under full sunlight and it's what fish like sardines eat and makes them high in omega oils. Spirulina is also said to have far better nutritional value than meat and diary produce. It comes in tablet, flake or powder form. It's not nice tasting in powder form but it smells slightly like boiled new potatoes or like a pond. Further information can be readily found on the Internet but it's importance to human health should not be underestimated and would be ideal for someone with depression.
Another aspect I came across was called solfeggio frequencies, an ancient 6 note musical scale. I over heard a debate that God is a form of vibration, which I found a bizarre concept. I don't like getting into religious debates, as it never concludes to anything useful but it did get me thinking. As I like and study astronomy and understand the concept of resonance in capacitor and inductor AC networks it made me realize that sound itself, radiation, gamma rays, x-rays, even light in the entire universe is all made of frequencies and its all occurs naturally. The sounds we hear from speakers are all frequencies caused by vibrations and resonance and these are all around us and its what we hear and feel. I searched in the Internet about this concept and surprised to come across a lot of videos on a famous video sharing website where these solfeggio frequencies help our body. I'm not too familiar with the exact science of how this works but it goes down to molecular level. Two frequencies that I sometimes use are 528Hz, which is said to repair DNA, heal and repair the body and mind, also known, as the love frequency. Listening to it kind of feels like its passing through me, feels like my body is tuned to it. It felt really strange and claim. The other frequency I listen to is 936Hz, known as the Pineal gland activation. I use this if I have trouble sleeping and strangely enough it does make me sleep. It needs to be warned that combination of these frequencies can have negative effects so it should be researched properly. 396Hz is liberating fear and guilt and it goes on.
At any point never be put off from doing any activity by negative comments made by other people. You will encounter people who say it's a waste of time, or it's pointless, or even sarcasm so never pay any attention to them. The biggest issue that causes a person with depression to withdraw from doing something positive to help themselves is the worry or anxiety or paranoia what people will think or what they have said. Another way to see this is if people like high ranking young celebrities can dress to freely express themselves, which makes them happy but others might think its wrong or over the top then what is the harm in you taking on a small activity that is to help you get better? Like I mentioned there are variety of people out there that live according to their rules and perspective on life that they think is right so never be swayed by any negativity from others and follow it through. I use to get a lot of negative comments from people. Growing veggies people say its cheaper in the supermarkets, why bother growing yourself. Fishing and people say fish in the supermarkets is cheaper and hassle free. Any hobby I did people described it as a waste of money. I took it on the chin, slowly ignored what they said and it all calmed down and I carried on.
Why it happens
Depression is ultimately caused by the continued stress of an issue that is constantly plaguing someone's mind. The part of the brain that controls this is called the amygdala and it is said to be able to map the current situation that the person see's or hear to past situations (picture and sound) that have occurred and this is said to increase stress levels in the person. In animals this part of the brain is essential as they need to defend themselves or evade any threats that invokes fear. The stress caused by this allows them to quickly act it out by either escaping or defending themselves from the threat and after doing so successfully, eventually reduces the level of their stress back to normal. So over the course of the animal's life their stress level will always be up and down.
Unfortunately, our human social system in, which we live means that we have no natural threats and have no reason to fear anything or anyone, so you might think that logically depression shouldn't occur then? As well as the good aspects that society has to offer it also has it's bad elements and geographically societies and people differ. Domestic abuse, domestic violence, racial harassment, discrimination, threat of isolation, disappointments, continued mourning, bullying, disappointments, all these things can cause someone immense stress resulting in bad memories lurking around in their mind and the continued affects of this can mean that stress levels are always high. Couple this with a current or approaching situation that invokes fear from past memories can also elevate stress levels and just like an animal will either defend itself or try to escape, we, the humans will also do the same but unfortunately, for some they don't.
In a situation where we are not able reduce the stress by acting it out or don't have the ability to suppress those bad memories that continuously invoke fear and stress then continued high stress levels will eventually cause depression. Its symptoms can be noticeable such as, sudden lashing out in anger, quietness, short term forgetfulness, not able to keep track of conversation, keeping isolated, not going out, being continuously upset, person talking of suicide, loss of sleep or sleeping too much, making unusual mistakes, losing interest, losing appetite or eating too much, weight change, feeling lethargic, reluctance to do anything, sudden attempt to try to escape a situation vocally or physically. Any signs of these symptoms will mean that the person may be depressed and through engaging in a conversation with that person will further indicate how bad the depression might be.
Domestic animals such as dogs and cats who are kept isolated and have suffered prolonged domestic violence/abuse by their owners can also develop depression and their behaviour to indicate this can be noticed. They cannot express it in english but their body language and vocal tones certainly will and there will be an element of immense fear or anxiety when they are in a situation that they have a bad experience of in the past. So with any animal that has been subjected to violence or abuse must be treated with care and the most important thing to do is to give them their space to move around, slowly try to establish trust with treats and let them come to you when they feel you can be trusted. If you notice any symptoms of fear or anxiety in your pet you have just adopted from another owner or a kennel or would like to adopt such an animal then please seek further advice from your local veterinary service.
To finish off...
At no point I would like to say that overcoming depression is as easy as throwing a ball in the air. With reference to my experience with depression, it takes time and practice to try and eliminate its affects and manage your reaction to those events or situations that can trigger stress and to try and lessen their effects on you.
It is an illness that can take time to move away from and how you deal with it would depend on your situation. i.e. person with family, working or not, single, etc. Personally, 10% of my depression is still there (and I feel it will be there for some time) waiting to be triggered by a situation that will cause me stress. To manage that 10% will depend on how I am able to cope with the stress and that will come from going back into work and practising what I know.
The harsh realities are that when work is involved it will be difficult to judge if the workplace will be sympathetic and supportive towards you or isolate you by avoiding you because they themselves are not sure what to do and there is a threat that even if the law protects you and company supports you that there is nothing stopping a business using an excuse to remove what they see as a burden on the business, which is there to make a profit. My experience is that large organisation have support in place to support you but it works both ways. They give you time off to get better but you need to be willing to make an effort to try and come back into work because you are paid to do a job in the position you occupy. In the UK your GP and workplace will support you in this transition back into full time work.
With interviews and application forms they ask if you have any disability or suffer from a mental impairment that they need to be made aware of and again, if you do declare that you suffer or suffered from depression then there is no way to prove that whether or not, your application was rejected on grounds of mental health, as some never give any feedback sighting an excuse that they cannot give one due to busy schedule. Other reason could be for possible auditing purposes they cannot reject an application due a stated mental impairment so they have a legal obligation to judge the application and schedule an interview. Again, they could well reject the candidate using inexperienced as an excuse but there is no way to prove discrimination as taken place. From my experience businesses are there to make a profit they want the best and they are opportunists. I personally feel that finding an organisation that doesn't discriminate on grounds on mental health would be like finding a needle in a hay stack.
I can understand that this may have been a very long write up and I hope you didn't become bored from reading it but my time with depression has given me an invaluable insight into this illness, how it occurs, how you are treated by society and business and how to overcome it so all I wanted to do was share it so that it could be of help to someone out there.
Wish you good health and all the best!
Helpful links and references
There are sceptics out there who will say that such therapies are a waste of time and money but from the perspective of your health you cannot ignore that these services do exist for the welfare of your health and a prize cannot be put on your health so please don't ignore these vital services. They are there to help you.
There is no harm in taking a break from counselling to see how you get on but if you feel its difficult then book an appointment with your counsellor and discuss the situation.
CBT was another therapy I took whilst taking my Setraline medication. I wanted to find ways to help tackle my issues. My only weakness was I didn't take it a small step at a time but took big leaps of change thinking that I was in a positive mood and thought it was good. At times it only made things worse so it is important that behavioural changes are done one small step at a time. It would be great if someone was there to support this change like a family member or a very close friend. They can see where you're doing good or wrong or pick you up when you feel down.
I also took up different hobbies and interests, Some were good fun where I met people but never lasted due to other reasons and some I have thoroughly enjoyed those that were done in my spare time like gardening and growing vegetables. A hobby doesn't have to cost a lot of money and it doesn't have to be gender related so if a hobby never works out, never hold it against yourself, be determined to see it through or if it doesn't work out then don't be disheartened, try something else but try not to sit idle and do nothing. My gardening interest has taught me alot other than just growing plants from seeds. If you do a mind map on gardening you will realize there is so much to learn. soil composition, re-mineralization, various composts i.e. leave compost, vermi compost, compost made from garden waste, importance of red worms, bacteria and soil fungi, stages of plant growth, tending to seedlings.
Taking up hobbies and interests and pursuing them is a means of trying to divert your energy away from concentrating on negative thoughts into something productive that you would enjoy. It's not an easy process if you spent a lot of time with depression but it's the process of nurturing yourself slowly to move away from the negativity and lethargic attitude. During depression the brain activity lessens and this becomes evident when you realize you cannot concentrate or remember or think something through clearly but doing a hobby is a simple means of encouraging the brain activity. The best way I used to tackle a new hobby is learning it step at a time. Don't take it all in at once as it will overwhelm you and seem complicated when it really isn't. Be determined and if the result is not what you expected then learn where you went wrong and do it again. An example of this is that I grew certain vegetables from following the guide on the pack and they don't grow as expected i.e. they went to flower (bolted) without growing anything we could eat from it. After having some set backs I gave up thinking I'm not good at this. Coming back I realized that the key was to grow them later in summer close to autumn and so far its looking promising. I don't take the set backs to heart as there is always next year and losing your motivation over seeds that cost only £2 is clearly not worth it. So buy again if needed and try again with a different approach and you will learn and succeed.
Brain stimulus helps encourage brain activity. Things like a 2D or 3D puzzles, crosswords, suduku, simple word searches, or even Japanese Kendama, which helps develop muscle and mind co ordination and can be quite a lot fun. The symptoms of depression will put you off, psychological barriers may appear that stop you from doing it but slowly practising to overcome these barriers is the way forward so keep at it and you will succeed.
Although I do have many worries, like I've mentioned above I am teaching myself to occupy my time with things I'd like to do. Last year I took up fishing. It's to pass time, a quiet hobby and I use it to teach myself not to be disheartened if I don't catch a fish but keep trying. As I meet people and they teach me the techniques I then try again. You will come across people who will argue the point of why do fishing when it's cheaper in the supermarkets to buy but that is not the point of pursuing a hobby and it is best to ignore these remarks and don't let their opinion have an affect on you. I play Golf too. I'm by no means comparable to Tiger Woods, but what the heck, give it a good whack and if no one is looking just cheat a bit but enjoy the time and smile.
Try to enjoy activities like these with a group. I know it can't be easy and you may feel unwilling to join due to anxiety or paranoia about what others might think of you. You can look at it this way, I can imagine that not everyone will be perfect at, lets say playing golf or any other game. More than one person is going to make a fool of themselves but I can guarantee you that they will all laugh it off and enjoy the moment. but take things slowly. I even played bowling with a group and we got to a point we were practically playing marbles down the alley on a giant scale. The joy was unbelievable. I wanted to try and bake a chocolate brownie, found a few recipes to test. In the past before my depression I tried baking but nothing ever came out nice but I like chocolate a lot and the smell of fresh baking is unbeatable. My friend saw a few youtube videos on making simple electric circuits to utilise free energy and we tried one and tried to understand what is going on. it rekindled my interest and some of the knowledge I had came forward. I studied electronics, use to do small projects at home and made a few things for myself when I was young but since depression I never had the energy to do it again and when I did I just didn't understand what I was doing wrong, it was very frustrating. However, now I feel energized to try making a small Tesla coil and thinking to complete some projects I never finished.
Setting yourself a task and seeing it through is one way to tackle some of the hurdles of depression and you need to practice this in order to lessen their effects. If you want to help someone with depression this can be one way to encourage them to take part or join in a group activity and enjoy it.
Another activity that is always good provided you have the time is volunteering. I volunteer my time at a charity pet rescue centre and I enjoy it. I enjoy seeing and pampering the pets there, and see that I'm doing this for them. There are times where I feel lethargic and don't want to go or feel paranoid that some people there don't show that welcoming feeling but I've taught myself to look past them and enjoy my time talking to those who appreciate seeing me there. So this is the process of telling yourself not to be dragged away from what you're doing or put yourself down by being paranoid but understand there's always a reason for their behaviour but not something that concerns you. They maybe going through a bad time themselves, maybe too busy or its just their nature or it could be that because you are new. Another way to see it is taking a brief high level thought over a situation (that caused the paranoia) but the detail of it won't mean much to you so that way it becomes easier to just brush it to one side in order to avoid dwelling on it. You are not being ignorant by doing so but given your own situation you avoiding putting yourself in a situation you are practising not to be in. This is an example how to see a situation and continuously practice a solution to the problem. After that you may want to approach the person with a smile at one point and then eventually a greetings at another time and take it a step at a time from there onwards but never push yourself back from trying, just give things time and it will all work out.
Doing all these types of activities is advisable whilst seeing a CBT therapist. You will encounter various situations or feelings other than those mentioned here that will test you and may even pull you back but your therapist will advise how to control your feelings and approach it differently. Always remember one thing that is to never take something to heart or be disheartened by a negative outcome, push forward because you are the enabler and you want to get better.
What I have mentioned above are some examples of things that I have done or will do to actively encourage myself to occupy my time, as my motivation is I want to get better and beat this illness, I want my former glory back that people knew me for. I know its not and won't be easy but I will try and succeed.
There are those who may have been diagnosed with depression and are in full time work in the UK. It's important to stress that anyone suffering from a mental illness in the UK which impairs their ability to do day to day activities, is not allowed to be subjected to discrimination at work. This is covered by the The Disability Discrimination Act. It is against the law. Large multinational firms have support in place to support anyone who suffers from depression and should you be part of a private health plan then you should look into using that to help you through. It is confidential and nothing is disclosed to your employer. If you have been on long term sick leave then companies will assist you with recommendation from your GP to have a phased return to work. This means you will gradually come back into work through reduced hours and see how it feels in the hope of bringing you back into full time work. I do not have much experience of smaller organisations but it's best to try and find out what support there is via company intranet or leaflets. Understandably you may be reluctant to tell anyone at work about it and if that is the case then you should seek support outside of work, as soon as possible.
My experience dealing with depression at work is that if it's severe then it can be noticed and it may raise questions. I told my team lead what I was going through when my depression was mild and I thought he was understanding. I was making mistakes, arriving late at work, and I was told I was not up to the expectations of my line manager. I was becoming forgetful and all of this was stacking up against me until my depression turned severe. I repeatedly took sick leave on 3 occasions. I told my immediate team but I felt they didn't understand, their behaviour towards me changed and at times I felt I was without support during work. The experience was not nice and I felt now that telling my team may not have been a good idea, as at times I felt victimized and ignored. Realizing this I felt I needed a break and subsequently resigned.
One of my biggest challenges now is getting back into work. My confidence has taken a big hit since depression and one thing I noticed about myself now after having depression is that I am the one who is putting obstacles in front of myself. Although I have done the sort of work I want to get back into for some years I find it easy to just snub the job opening or close the browser because it avoids having the worry of failing at the job again or worry I can't do this work because the job description seems overwhelming. If I keep going around in this cycle then I'd never get better and I will eventually develop a habit of this. I need to avoid this by keep applying for jobs and nurture the confidence that I can do the work (because I have done it before) but I need to take a different approach. Rather than hitting the floor running and panicking, but take it slowly. I know the work will pile up but as I take time to familiarise myself of the work I have done then slowly the work pile will drop and I would make notes of every piece of work I've done, as something I can reference in the future. This is a way of developing a solution to approach a difficult situation caused by lack of confidence, that another person without depression would find a trivial task. It is difficult because I need to keep nurturing myself to not be afraid and I won't say it's an easy thing to do but keep practising, never give up trying to succeed and time will pay dividends. Another approach is to start a job at the bottom and work myself up the ladder. That way I have an income, an easier job would be better to handle and when I have the right confidence to move on then I can look out for another job opening.
Another aspect to help deal with depression is changing what we eat and doing exercise. Regular intake of water is essential to help the body remove impurities from itself. Reducing the intake of processed foods, takeaways and high in fat, sugar, salt snacks. Reducing the intake of these foods should not be done by stop eating them straight away, otherwise the cravings will make you want to eat more. Gradually reduce it by half every week until you are only eating them as a treat. Regular exercising does not have to cost anything, if you have a bicycle then ride it and set an aim to do say 5 miles and then gradually increase it every week by another 2 or 5 miles until you are doing maybe 20 miles every other day and maintain the fluid levels. If you don't have a bike, a short jogging exercise around the block or in the park in the morning is just as good. The intake of oxygen is very important to the body and the increase in blood flow reduces risk of blood clots, helps regulate your blood pressure and assists in energising the mind. After each exercise, have a wash and after a month or 2 your body will start to feel refreshed and over time the feeling your mind and body gives you will be quite apparent.
The reason for reducing the intake of processed foods, alcohol to a minimal level is to replace them with healthy alternatives. You have already heard that dieting does not help. Well here is my take on it. Every food in texture, taste (bitter, sweet, sour), and colour have certain trace minerals and micro nutrients in them that if our body had them, it would help it regenerate and maintain itself better and also provides fibre for our digestive system. Things like Iron, Calcium, Iodine (deficiency can cause thyroid problems, cognitive development), Magnesium, Manganese, amongst many others are contained within foods in very small amounts and they are all essential for our body. Eating healthy food that comes into season is a means of getting some of those nutrients into your body but like with anything too much can be bad. Salt is an example. Did you know there are various types of salt, pink salt, black salt, as well as table salt (which is processed and lacks minerals) and sea salt and all are edible? Simply switching from table salt to sea or pink salt is a healthy switch. you find a lot of literature on the Internet about this. Too much salt is very bad, as it has a dehydrating effect on the body and it can contribute to high blood pressure. Not having it completely will mean you may end up with a iodine deficiency. Even certain animals like cows and goats like licking salt. So with any mineral having a balanced intake is important for the body and that can only come from eating healthy food, not just fruit and vegetables but meats and how you cook them. Maybe try preparing a Japanese Bento lunch by combining different things together. Its got quite a following in USA, Europe as well as Japan. A change in eating habits will reap benefits only when loyally maintained on a long term basis from 6 months to a year or part of a life changing exercise.
Omega 3 oils is another aspect, which is very important. They contain fatty acids like DHA, EPA oils that are essential for maintaining your body and mental health. There have also been researches that suggest it helps with depression. Further info can be found on the internet or from my references below. Couple healthy eating along with exercise, Omega 3 intake and over time your body will be fit, healthy and it will help lay the foundations for helping you move forward with dealing with depression. I'm by no means saying avoid junk foods or avoid alcohol but treat them as a occasional moderated treat by teaching yourself to not over indulge but be strict and set a limit.
Another thing I ran into was Spirulina, which can be used as a dietary supplement on top of what you eat. It is blue and green coloured algae that grows in water under full sunlight and it's what fish like sardines eat and makes them high in omega oils. Spirulina is also said to have far better nutritional value than meat and diary produce. It comes in tablet, flake or powder form. It's not nice tasting in powder form but it smells slightly like boiled new potatoes or like a pond. Further information can be readily found on the Internet but it's importance to human health should not be underestimated and would be ideal for someone with depression.
Another aspect I came across was called solfeggio frequencies, an ancient 6 note musical scale. I over heard a debate that God is a form of vibration, which I found a bizarre concept. I don't like getting into religious debates, as it never concludes to anything useful but it did get me thinking. As I like and study astronomy and understand the concept of resonance in capacitor and inductor AC networks it made me realize that sound itself, radiation, gamma rays, x-rays, even light in the entire universe is all made of frequencies and its all occurs naturally. The sounds we hear from speakers are all frequencies caused by vibrations and resonance and these are all around us and its what we hear and feel. I searched in the Internet about this concept and surprised to come across a lot of videos on a famous video sharing website where these solfeggio frequencies help our body. I'm not too familiar with the exact science of how this works but it goes down to molecular level. Two frequencies that I sometimes use are 528Hz, which is said to repair DNA, heal and repair the body and mind, also known, as the love frequency. Listening to it kind of feels like its passing through me, feels like my body is tuned to it. It felt really strange and claim. The other frequency I listen to is 936Hz, known as the Pineal gland activation. I use this if I have trouble sleeping and strangely enough it does make me sleep. It needs to be warned that combination of these frequencies can have negative effects so it should be researched properly. 396Hz is liberating fear and guilt and it goes on.
At any point never be put off from doing any activity by negative comments made by other people. You will encounter people who say it's a waste of time, or it's pointless, or even sarcasm so never pay any attention to them. The biggest issue that causes a person with depression to withdraw from doing something positive to help themselves is the worry or anxiety or paranoia what people will think or what they have said. Another way to see this is if people like high ranking young celebrities can dress to freely express themselves, which makes them happy but others might think its wrong or over the top then what is the harm in you taking on a small activity that is to help you get better? Like I mentioned there are variety of people out there that live according to their rules and perspective on life that they think is right so never be swayed by any negativity from others and follow it through. I use to get a lot of negative comments from people. Growing veggies people say its cheaper in the supermarkets, why bother growing yourself. Fishing and people say fish in the supermarkets is cheaper and hassle free. Any hobby I did people described it as a waste of money. I took it on the chin, slowly ignored what they said and it all calmed down and I carried on.
Why it happens
Depression is ultimately caused by the continued stress of an issue that is constantly plaguing someone's mind. The part of the brain that controls this is called the amygdala and it is said to be able to map the current situation that the person see's or hear to past situations (picture and sound) that have occurred and this is said to increase stress levels in the person. In animals this part of the brain is essential as they need to defend themselves or evade any threats that invokes fear. The stress caused by this allows them to quickly act it out by either escaping or defending themselves from the threat and after doing so successfully, eventually reduces the level of their stress back to normal. So over the course of the animal's life their stress level will always be up and down.
Unfortunately, our human social system in, which we live means that we have no natural threats and have no reason to fear anything or anyone, so you might think that logically depression shouldn't occur then? As well as the good aspects that society has to offer it also has it's bad elements and geographically societies and people differ. Domestic abuse, domestic violence, racial harassment, discrimination, threat of isolation, disappointments, continued mourning, bullying, disappointments, all these things can cause someone immense stress resulting in bad memories lurking around in their mind and the continued affects of this can mean that stress levels are always high. Couple this with a current or approaching situation that invokes fear from past memories can also elevate stress levels and just like an animal will either defend itself or try to escape, we, the humans will also do the same but unfortunately, for some they don't.
In a situation where we are not able reduce the stress by acting it out or don't have the ability to suppress those bad memories that continuously invoke fear and stress then continued high stress levels will eventually cause depression. Its symptoms can be noticeable such as, sudden lashing out in anger, quietness, short term forgetfulness, not able to keep track of conversation, keeping isolated, not going out, being continuously upset, person talking of suicide, loss of sleep or sleeping too much, making unusual mistakes, losing interest, losing appetite or eating too much, weight change, feeling lethargic, reluctance to do anything, sudden attempt to try to escape a situation vocally or physically. Any signs of these symptoms will mean that the person may be depressed and through engaging in a conversation with that person will further indicate how bad the depression might be.
Domestic animals such as dogs and cats who are kept isolated and have suffered prolonged domestic violence/abuse by their owners can also develop depression and their behaviour to indicate this can be noticed. They cannot express it in english but their body language and vocal tones certainly will and there will be an element of immense fear or anxiety when they are in a situation that they have a bad experience of in the past. So with any animal that has been subjected to violence or abuse must be treated with care and the most important thing to do is to give them their space to move around, slowly try to establish trust with treats and let them come to you when they feel you can be trusted. If you notice any symptoms of fear or anxiety in your pet you have just adopted from another owner or a kennel or would like to adopt such an animal then please seek further advice from your local veterinary service.
To finish off...
At no point I would like to say that overcoming depression is as easy as throwing a ball in the air. With reference to my experience with depression, it takes time and practice to try and eliminate its affects and manage your reaction to those events or situations that can trigger stress and to try and lessen their effects on you.
It is an illness that can take time to move away from and how you deal with it would depend on your situation. i.e. person with family, working or not, single, etc. Personally, 10% of my depression is still there (and I feel it will be there for some time) waiting to be triggered by a situation that will cause me stress. To manage that 10% will depend on how I am able to cope with the stress and that will come from going back into work and practising what I know.
The harsh realities are that when work is involved it will be difficult to judge if the workplace will be sympathetic and supportive towards you or isolate you by avoiding you because they themselves are not sure what to do and there is a threat that even if the law protects you and company supports you that there is nothing stopping a business using an excuse to remove what they see as a burden on the business, which is there to make a profit. My experience is that large organisation have support in place to support you but it works both ways. They give you time off to get better but you need to be willing to make an effort to try and come back into work because you are paid to do a job in the position you occupy. In the UK your GP and workplace will support you in this transition back into full time work.
With interviews and application forms they ask if you have any disability or suffer from a mental impairment that they need to be made aware of and again, if you do declare that you suffer or suffered from depression then there is no way to prove that whether or not, your application was rejected on grounds of mental health, as some never give any feedback sighting an excuse that they cannot give one due to busy schedule. Other reason could be for possible auditing purposes they cannot reject an application due a stated mental impairment so they have a legal obligation to judge the application and schedule an interview. Again, they could well reject the candidate using inexperienced as an excuse but there is no way to prove discrimination as taken place. From my experience businesses are there to make a profit they want the best and they are opportunists. I personally feel that finding an organisation that doesn't discriminate on grounds on mental health would be like finding a needle in a hay stack.
I can understand that this may have been a very long write up and I hope you didn't become bored from reading it but my time with depression has given me an invaluable insight into this illness, how it occurs, how you are treated by society and business and how to overcome it so all I wanted to do was share it so that it could be of help to someone out there.
Wish you good health and all the best!
Helpful links and references
- Samaritans http://www.samaritans.org/how-we-can-help-you/contact-us
- https://healthunlocked.com/journeys
- http://www.counselling-directory.org.uk/
- Pink Salt - http://www.naturalnews.com/028724_Himalayan_salt_sea.html
- Omega 3 Oils - http://www.lef.org/magazine/mag2007/oct2007_report_depression_01.htm
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